My Dad

 

One month ago my Dad went home to be with his Lord and Savior.  Our God blessed him with 103 years on this earth. He was the last of his 11 siblings to go home to heaven.

He was the best Dad a girl could have. He was a farmer all his life and a mighty good one at that and I feel blessed to have had him and Mom raise me on the farm. It was the best way of life to grow up.  You learn hard work and good values that you carry with you the rest of your life.

He loved the Lord with all his heart and taught us kids to love and fear the Lord .  He made sure we were in church every Sunday unless we were sick. He was a deacon in the church for many years and was faithful and took seriously and fulfilled that role making sure it was pleasing to God in all that was required. He and Mom taught me common sense, how to think for myself, and how to be a useful citizen of society. He taught me how to read my Bible and pray.

As a little girl, quite often he would take me to town with him, which I always looked forward to. On the outskirts of town there was this little place that was open only during the spring and summer months that you could get hamburgers, fries, milkshakes, and of course, ice-cream. They had the best soft ice-cream I’ve ever eaten. It was made with fresh ingredients everyday. They didn’t use the artificial mixes that most make their soft ice-cream with today.  They filled the cones right up and the ice-cream would end up being almost three inches high. My Dad loved those cones. He had to get one every time he went to town.  So of course he would buy me one too. Those are some of the best times I had with my Dad.

Not only was he a strong man with good ethics, he was also a kind and gentle man who would give his shirt off his back to help some in need. When he gave his word he would always do his  best to keep it. He and Mom would give surplus vegetables, meat and eggs away all the time and sometimes even gasoline, we had 3 big 500 gallon fuel tanks on the farm. That’s the kind of people my parents were.

He and Chester, the love of my life, got along very well. In fact they became quite close. My husband’s parents were still in England when Chester and I had started dating, and both my parents kind of adopted him and treated him as if he was one of their sons. They had many a great conversation on many topics, mainly religion and politics.  It was awesome to see them get along so well. Now they’re chatting together again I’m sure. Shortly after my love went home, almost a year ago now, I was with my Dad at Christmas time. He was such a great comfort to me.  I sat there with him and held his hand. He could see I was grieving. He looked into my eyes and said,”What’s wrong?”  I tearfully tried to tell him the best I could that his son-in-law had gone home to be with the Lord. My Dad immediately squeezed my hand even tighter.  He was still my Dad and I was still his little girl and he let me know.  I am so thankful for that. Grieving the two most important men in my life within a little less than a year is very difficult to say the least. I’m also thankful that I got to spend some of his last hours on this earth with him.

My Dad was a good steward with everything that God had given him. He took excellent care of his livestock and his land. He recognized that all he had came from God and not himself. He was a hard worker and would spend sun up to sun down working on the farm. He loved getting that dirt under his fingernails.

He retired shortly after the Lord called Mom home. He moved to the city for a short time and found it was not compatible with him, so he bought a small acreage where he grew a huge garden and raised a few chickens. My kids were very young at the time and he would always had ice-cream Revels, or cookies, or some kind of treat on hand when any of his grandchildren would go and visit.  They all enjoyed when Grandpa would hand out his goodies.

About 12 years ago he started getting dementia and eventually had to move into a nursing home. It was hard to see his memory deteriorate but his love for the Lord never waned. His faith I think became stronger as a result and I praise God for that.

His death for me is kind of bitter sweet. Bitter in the sense that he’s left us and we miss him, but sweet in the sense that he’s finally in heaven with my Mom, the love of his life, whom he was always very close with. He’s finally with his parents and siblings who he loved and missed. He’s with my wonderful, awesome husband who I’m sure was very glad to see him. Finally he’s with his Lord and Savior who he served and trusted most of his life – now that is the best!

I am who I am in Christ as a result of what my Dad and my Mom taught me all my life.  I was always in their prayers and also in the prayers of my Grandparents. I do look forward to the day when I will see my Dad and my Mom again. It will be kind of like old times but much, much better.

I thank God for giving me such a great Dad, and Mom for that matter. I’m thankful I got to spend some of your last hours with you on this earth.  To see you in such peace just before you went home was so beautiful.  Dad, I love you, miss you, and I hope you’re having an awesome time with those you love and have missed all these years, who you are now reunited with.  I know the best thing you’ve experienced since you’ve gone home is seeing Jesus. I’m sure he’s told you, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

See you later, Dad!

 

First Thanksgiving and Almost One Year Ago

 

This is Thanksgiving in Canada and it’s the first Thanksgiving without the love of my life. And it was the day after Thanksgiving my wonderful Chester had his stroke that triggered the most traumatic time for him and me. For the following three weeks he suffered paralysis and pain. Until finding out one day what caused it then the next day he was gone.

The pain he suffered was both physical and emotional. I had never seen him like that before and it was emotionally painful for me to watch him go through all that. I was with him almost 24/7. There was no other place I wanted to be. My place was with my husband, the man whom I have been with and loved for over 40 years. It was traumatic for both of us since there was no real warning before hand, a healthy man who took care of himself all the time just the usual aches and pains that come with aging. I even go through that.

This weekend has been especially hard on me. That empty chair, and living that horrible event over and over and over again. My life has not been the same since. I miss his warmth, his reassuring voice, his dry sense of humour, his arms around me to comfort me, just his presence.  My life has been cold, empty and dark since the Lord called him home. My heart is broken and there’s nothing in the world that will mend it. It’s been a hard tough slog. Sure my kids have tried to help,especially with estate matters and such but I still struggle. The littlest things can trigger me. A song, a picture, a place, an event, a simple item of his or something he liked or didn’t like. Even thinking about certain foods can sometimes send a trigger.  I  am by no means anywhere near healing.  Actually I never really got a chance to even grieve until this summer because I had been occupied so much dealing with estate issues and there’s still more to be done on that front. I’m not done yet.  Then a personal family issue cropped up and I had to put the grieving on hold again. Then just a couple weeks ago my father of 103 years old was called home to be with the Lord, so I’ve been focused on that. I haven’t really been able to properly grieve my husband and now I’m grieving my Dad as well. (I will post about my Dad a little later.)

It’s been really painful and all I want is that pain to go away.  It’s like physical pain, only you can’t see it. It’s easier to hide, but like physical pain, all you focus on is getting relief.

Also this time of the year has been a tough time anyway. Our son Josh went home 23 years ago October 5th. My Mom 40 years ago November 20th. Chester had always been there for me every year to help get me through. We were there for each other, it was a hard time of the year for him too, he had grown close to my Mom and it was hard losing his son who he’s now with, praise God.

The only solace I have found is my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and His promises to me.  That’s the only thing that keeps me from completely losing it.

As I’ve said in previous posts I know that my love is with Christ.  He’s safe and secure and free from all that pain and suffering. By the way, my Dad is with safe and secure with Jesus too. So is my Mom and my son Josh. I know my future is to one day be reunited with the man I love but also with my son and daughter who went home in January ’83, my parents and to be with my Lord and Savior. I have something to look forward to and I am thankful for that.

Since this is Thanksgiving, I give thanks to God giving me wonderful man who loved me, who was a good husband to me and accepted me for who I am. I am thankful to God for giving me my kids whom I love and cherish and don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have them, even the two who are with the Lord right now. They are precious and am looking forward to the day when all my kids are united with their Dad and I so that we will be able to enjoy happy family times together for eternity . I’m thankful to God for giving me such wonderful parents who loved me and provided for me, prayed for me, who took me to church and taught me to love and fear the Lord.  I wouldn’t be who I am today without parents like that.

I am thankful to God for sending His Son so that I can be forgiven of my sins and have everlasting life.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING MY LOVE!

I’m sure you’re having a great feast at the Master’s table.

l LOVE YOU!