It’s the first Mother’s Day without my wonderful husband, the love of my life, the father of my children, Chester.  It’s another hard first and yes it’s painful, very painful because without my Chester I wouldn’t be the Mother to those great kids, and  Mama2 to those beautiful grand kids I have. Man I miss him. All those firsts without him, so empty, so lonely.  Life is not the same without him at my side. I feel very blessed to such great kids and to have had such wonderful husband.

He was great. Every Mother’s Day he would give me potted flowers usually Mums, some awesome dark chocolate, either a new pair of garden gloves or a new gardening tool that I was in need of.  I’ve always loved gardening and actually so did he. He also loved chocolate, the dark kind too. He also had a wonderful sense of humor and he’d usually give me a humorous card that usually depicted a bit of truth in it that he would sign, To Farmgirl, From Country Boy in which I always thought as kind of endearing. He usually signed the cards he gave me with that signature.

Also for Mother’s Day he would always take me to a garden center that he knew I loved the ambience of.  He didn’t mind visiting the garden centers himself. He found the atmosphere pleasant as well.  I miss all of that and will always have fond memories of those times.

I know Mother’s Day will never be the same just as when I lost my Mother. Since God called her home, it’s always been hard when Mother’s Day would roll around..  The whole family always had a wonderful time giving her, her gifts and making or taking her out for dinner. Watching her glow as she would receive those gifts from us kids and Dad. The joy on her face gave me joy.

My Chester was there for me every step of the way when we lost her. He was my rock. A strong shoulder to cry on when I needed it. He comforted me without having to say a word. He would just hold me in his arms, seems like it was just what the doctor ordered. He loved her too. He grew close to her. She took care of him, mothering him while his own Mom was still  back in England at the time.  Now he’s in heaven spending his first Mother’s Day with her and his own Mom too. I would think it must be great to be with both Moms like that in the most wonderful place ever.  I can’t wait to spend ever Mother’s Day for eternity with both Mom’s, my own Mom and  my Mother-in-law. both my kids that are in Heaven.  Even my Grandmothers. What a joy to spend those special days as my husband I will be reunited spending time with our Moms together.  Actually everyday with our Moms will be like Mother’s Day, Christmas and Birthdays all wrapped up into one.

It’s hard.It’s not easy. It hurts that I don’t have the love of my life here with me this year to spend Mother’s Day with me. It’s painful but I will remember all those Mother’s Days he did spend with me and I will cherish them forever. Those memories are tucked away in my heart and until the day God calls me home, I can pull them out fondly remember those sweet special times and look forward to when I am again with my wonderful husband, , Mother, Mother-in-law, Grandmothers and all those other loved ones I miss so much. We will forever be able to enjoy each other so much more.  I’m looking forward to a big party.

For now I rely on God to keep me under His wings every minute of everyday to get me through pain and sadness.

I feel very blessed and thank God for such great kids,grand kids and to have had given me such a wonderful husband who treated me with love, honour and respect.

I thank God for my Mom,my Mother-in-law and my Grandmothers. I thank Him for the opportunity of being a Mom myself and a Momma 2/grandma.

I am so honoured, my beloved Chester, to be the Mother of your children and grandmother of your grand kids! I love you so much!

I wish all Moms out there a very Blessed Mother’s Day.